Who I Want to See On the Obama Death Panel

My girl Sarah really has me thinking these days. When they create this Death Panel, who’s going to be on it? Who will we choose to pull the plug on grandma or Corky? So, I have compiled a list of who I think should boldly serve on Obama’s Death Panel.

1. Me—you’re god damned right me! It’s my list, and I want to have some power. Plus, I took some science classes in school, and am generally considered to be intelligent. You can trust me…..I promise ;)
2. Wilfred Brimley—this old bastard is on my television all of the time talking up the old people. I would trust that he would do the right thing. Who else would know better about pulling the plug on someone than a guy who has to make this decision on himself every week or so?
3. Alan Alda—he’s not a doctor, although he has played one on TV. I feel strongly that we need someone from the medical profession on this thing. He has all the credentials I need.
4. Sarah Palin—we need a “maverick” on this panel. Plus she could give us a personal opinion on how to handle the clinically insane.
5. Simon Cowell—he sounds smart because of that British accent, plus we can use someone with a no nonsense attitude that will tell it like it is.

I think this is one hell of a group, and perfectly capable of making the right decisions. I’m not saying we won’t pull the plug on the wrong people from time to time, I mean nobody is perfect. But it’s hard to put together the first ever death panel.

If any of you have better candidates or ideas, I’d like to hear them. Until then, I’m going to brush up on my Biology 101.

When Did Jesus Become a Republican?

“Blessed are the poor in spirit; for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to them”. What if I told you that quote belongs to former Vice-President Dick Cheney? You don’t believe me? You shouldn’t. The only blessed poor people Cheney knows are the ones who get to cut his lawn, or wash his Rolls Royce. The quote of course is from Matthew 5:3 of the New Testament and it is credited to Jesus Christ.

How ridiculous was the notion that the quote was Cheney’s? Could you even imagine those words coming out of the mouth of the de facto leader of the Republican Party? Of course not! You are as likely to see Cheney walk down the street hand in hand with another man, than hear him mutter those words. So why is it that the Christian Right, the folks who currently own and operate the GOP, gravitate to politicians like Cheney? Are the Republicans the party you associate with helping the poor and less fortunate? No, and that’s because the original messages of Christ don’t apply to these Evangelicals when it comes to politics. It’s about two things now; homosexuality, and abortion.

If you are a Christian Evangelical, homosexuality and abortion don’t even affect you. You aren’t going to be gay, and you won’t ever choose to have an abortion. So it really goes back to the fact they want the power to tell other people they can’t be gay, and they can’t have abortions. They are imposing their beliefs on those who don’t share their beliefs. Folks, that’s not democracy, that’s fascism.

Maybe what bothers me the most is the extraordinary effort and resources they commit to persecute such a minority of people. They are concerned about gays, which make up approximately 2.5% of the U.S population, and abortions which happen in about 13 of 1000 pregnancies in the U.S. You mean to tell me that out of all of these Evangelicals, not one person stepped up and said, “Uh, you guys do realize we are only talking about a handful of people here right?” We now have a party in this country that cares more about impeding the rights of 3% of the population than they do about tending to the needs and rights of the remaining 97% of the population. Well, when I put it that way; that does actually sound like something Dick Cheney would do.

I'll leave you with a quote from Thomas Jefferson:

"History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes."